Telemarketing Calls

Okay, I know this is an old topic, but recently I have been getting a lot of telemarkting calls during dinner time. I know these people are only doing their job, and there's no need to be rude to them - it's just that when I say "I'm not interested", they just keep talking to me.

I find this very frustrating. I am quite happy to be polite and say "I'm not interested" even if I say it 4 or 5 times. It just that the persistence of the caller makes me a little upset.

I have found a way to make these calls, not a reason to get frustrated or upset, but perhaps to have a little fun, and at not too much expense for the caller:

Me: "Hello"
Caller: "Hello Mr Yap, you have been selected to receive a new mobile phone"
Me: "I think you have the wrong number"
Caller: "Is this [my phone number]?"
Me: "Yes it is"
Caller: "Then I have the right number - in order to receive your free phone, I just need to ask you a few questions - do you own a mobile phone?"
Me: "Hang on, I don't understand. Why are you calling me? I don't remember entering any competition. Are you sure you have the right person?"
Caller: "Yes, I am sure you are the right person. Do you own a mobile phone?"
Me: "I don't understand - but why are you calling ME?"
Caller: "I'm not just calling you, you have been selected among a group of residents from your county... uh suburb."
Me: "My suburb? - Yes, but why are you calling me?"
Caller: "I'm not just calling you, a few other people from your suburb have also been selected."
Me: "Oh, I see. But how did I get selected?"
Caller: "You have been chosen at random. According to a survey, people in your suburb spend on average, between $40 to $50 in mobile phone calls. Do you own a mobile phone?"
Me: "Hang on, why are you calling me again? I don't understand, why are you calling me?"
Caller: "Do you own a mobile phone?"
Me: "I don't know why you're calling me, I don't feel comfortable answering that question. Can we please end this conversation."
Caller: "Thank you" [hangs up]

As you can see, this call went for about 2 minutes, a lot longer than the usual "GO AWAY" type conversation. But the difference is, I came away from that conversation feeling, well, a little amused, rather than frustrated. And I didn't even have to get nasty with the caller.

So, if you find yourself getting regularly frustrated with cold callers at inopportune time, perhaps its time you had a little fun. You may want to try something like this:

Me: "Hello?"
Caller: "Hello, this is Bob from So-And-So Communications - "
Me: "Please enter your password, followed by the hash key."
Caller; "Hello?"
Me: "Please enter your password, followed by the hash key."

Or something like this:

Me: "Hello?"
Caller: "Hello {blah blah} do you own a mobile phone?
Me: "Blue"
Caller: "Sorry, I didn't hear you, do you own a mobile phone?"
Me: "About 4pm, give or take half an hour."
Caller: "Sir, I'm not quite sure I understand you, do you own a mobile phone?"
Me: "Woollen jumpers are my preference, they keep you warm even if they get wet. Did you know professional kayakers wear wool?"

etc etc.

Any way - have fun with it. Remember, be polite.